If I’m Honest: I’m Wrestling

As we begin a new year, I thought I’d begin a small series called, “If I’m Honest”. I have a few thoughts that I’d like to share to get you thinking. Because, well, I’m in a season of being stretched.

Saturday, January 1, I woke up like any normal Saturday. I got up and got in my run. I was a bit short on breath, but nothing too alarming. I got home, and I just couldn’t warm up. I cranked up the heat in the shower and stayed in there for quite a while.

When I got out, I still could not warm up. I put on extra layers, but slowly felt myself becoming fatigued. Within an hour, I had to lay down, and layer up even more. I knew I was in trouble.

I spent the rest of the day on the couch, sleeping. Yep. 2022 began with me being sick.

Since then, I’ve been on a roller coaster ride. One day I feel alright. The next day? Blah. One day I test negative. The next day, I’m ruled out because of health and safety protocols.

So, here I sit. In the same room for the last 4 days. But, I am not going to let it steal my joy.

The comical part of it all? The word that I have chosen to focus on for the year: Contentment. Oh, the irony.

So, if I’m honest, I’m wrestling. How do I stay content in the midst of being stuck inside the same 4 walls? It means that I’m making a conscious choice to be OK with whatever comes my way. Now, I’m not loving it. I’m not really happy about it. But, I am trying to be content. Ok, wrestling.

Then, I read 1 Thessalonians 5:16, “Rejoice always”. Rejoice? Even when I’m sick? Even when it is not going my way? Even when it doesn’t make sense? Yep. Hence, the wrestling.

And, there is NOTHING wrong with wrestling. God welcomes questions.

So, as I heal, I wrestle. I’ll keep on rejoicing, despite sitting inside the same 4 walls. Because, I am content. And my choice of being content, helps me to see things more clearly. Because, if I’m honest, it always could be worse.

Be honest. Go make a difference. Always run by faith.

What’s something you’ve been wrestling with? Be honest and drop a comment. I’d love to connect with you.